How to Get Out of the Friend Zone (with a Girl) in 4 Steps

If you’ve ever wondered how to get out of the friend zone of a girl you like, you’ve come to the right place.

Today, I’m going to share with you a four-step plan you can use to escape the friend zone of a girl you want to seduce.

friend zone help just friends

It will allow you to fix the mistakes you made in the first place and make a fresh start with this girl.

As a result, you’ll be able to turn her on and get her to see you as a potential lover…and not just a friend.

This plan is not guaranteed to work (it’s not a magic formula) but it can bring you some interesting results.

It will also allow you to reinforce yourself and to be much less obsessed with this friend you want to attract.

Without further ado, let’s start with the very first step of this protocol…

Step 1: make a clean break

This first step consists of making a clean break with the friend you want to seduce.

You’re going to break contact in order to make her stop seeing you as a friend.

The break that you’re going to create will allow you to prepare the ground for the creation of a new picture of you in the girl’s mind: the picture of a potential lover.

It is crucial to create a clean break between the former picture of you (a friend) and the new picture you want to create (a potential lover).

This will allow you to get out of the friendzone relatively quickly.

Most friendzoned guys make the mistake of staying in touch with the girl who has friendzoned them:

They keep answering her texts.

They keep seeing her on a regular basis.

Thus, they don’t create a clear break between the old image and the new image they want to give to the girl.

If you don’t create a clean break with your friend, she won’t be able to see you differently.

She won’t be able to notice that you’ve changed something and that you could be more than just a friend.

And if the girl sees you as just a friend, it means that you behaved like a friend.

You didn’t behave like a potential lover.

And now that she sees you as a friend, you won’t be able to attract her like you would attract a girl you just met.

friend zone just friends with romantic partner

On the other hand, if you can get her to see you like a guy she’s just met, that’s going to be possible again.

Hence the need to create a clean break between you and the girl.

Because it’s always easier to bed a girl you just met than a girl who sees you as just a friend.

That’s the reason why you’re going to make sure that your friend isn’t your friend anymore.

You’re going to change her perception of you.

By working on the mental picture she has of you.

And you know what?

You won’t even have to change who you are.

You won’t have to play a role.

You’re just going to work on her perception of you, so that you can proceed as if she were a girl you just met.

It will allow you to make a fresh start with this girl.

eye contact with potential romantic partner

Let’s start with the basics…

No calls nor texts:

In order to create a clean break with her, you need to break contact with her.

Stop calling her.

Stop texting her.

Stop answering her calls or texts.

And stop Liking or commenting on her pictures on Facebook and Instagram.

Ideally, you should maintain absolute radio silence.

She texted me, what should I do?

If she texts you, either don’t answer at all, or answer her a long time after receiving her text, in a lame and noncommittal manner, as if you don’t care (or as if it was just another landwhale hitting on you).

If she attempts to see you (for instance, if she sends you a text in which she offers to do something together or with some other friends), wait a long time before answering her. For example, wait a solid six hours or the day after (it can be even longer).

Tip: don’t answer her after 9PM. By not answering her in the evening, you allow her to think that you’re busy with another girl (I’ll get back to this below).

If your friend asks you to do something with her, just decline the invitation by telling her that you can’t. Just tell her that you have other plans and don’t say anything more.

If she asks for more details, you have two options:

  • Either you don’t answer.
  • Or you answer a long time afterwards, saying that you can’t because you have other plans. You can give her a few details about those plans you have; for instance. that you’re going on a date with a girl you just met. It can be true or a complete fabrication. If you decide to tell her that you’re seeing a girl you just met, you can even give her the name of the girl; it makes this move even more real. Your friend will understand that she’s not the center of your universe anymore. She might even start to become jealous (I’ll come back to this below).

What do you do if you can’t break all contact with her?

If you’re in the same college or university as her, or if both of you work at the same place, just make sure to not spend time with her anymore.

For instance, if you’re used to seeing her in between classes, don’t do it anymore.

Avoid her.

Don’t spend time with her anymore.

Spend time with other people, such as your friends or other girls (this is a very powerful move that will arouse jealousy).

Step 2: create a new picture of you—a picture of a potential lover (not a friend)

Here is why most men fail to get out of the friend zone:

They don’t take the time to create a new mental picture of them in the mind of the friend they want to attract.

As a result, they’re still a friend to her.

They’re still labeled as friends.

What you’re going to do during this second step will not only allow you to make a difference and attract your friend, it will also allow you to understand that you actually don’t need this girl.

Because you’re going to create more opportunities for yourself. You’re going to let other women enter into your life.

getting out of the friend zone with a romantic partner

As a result, you’re going to trigger jealousy (from your friend).

She is automatically going to get closer to you, because she’ll feel that she might lose you.

She’ll feel that other women could get you instead of her. She’ll feel that other women could become your lovers.

The goal of this second step is to create a new life for yourself (or at least a new perceived life), so that your friend wants to get your attention again and become part of this new life (as more than just a friend).

The clean break you’ll have created at step one will allow your friend to realize what she has lost and thus make her want to come back.

Spend time with your friends

The first thing to do when (re)creating an attracting lifestyle is to devote more time to your friends.

By “friends,” I mean friends who are not related to the girl you want to attract (remember that you need to create a clean break).

Spend more time with these friends and grow your social circle (the part of your social circle that is not related to the girl).

See other girls

This is key, for several reasons:

First, it will allow you to put the problem in perspective by realizing that there are many girls who are better than your friend.

As a result, you’re going to put much less pressure on yourself, which is going to make things a lot easier.

love interest and sexual attraction

And second, it will allow you to make your friend jealous.

She is going to realize that you might be attracted to other women and that other women might be attracted to you.

As a result, she’s going to question herself. She’s going to tell herself:

“Look, he seems to want to pursue other girls…why doesn’t he want to pursue me anymore?”

You’re going to trigger a feeling of longing in her. A fear of losing you. Which is going to generate attraction.


Seeing other women may consist simply of having lunch with one or several girls during your lunch break:

Preferably nice-looking girls, since it will trigger stronger feelings of jealousy in your friend.

When she sees you spending time with other women, she’s going to start becoming jealous.

But there’s more…

positive interactions with mutual friends

Spending time with other girls will make you more attractive and more interesting to all the other women who will see you having fun with women.

It’s a kind of virtuous circle: the more you are seen with girls, the more your reputation will improve, and the more you’ll be able to attract and bed girls easily.

You can also apply this strategy at a party:

Especially if your friend is at the party…

During the party, ignore your friend (remember that you need to create a clean break) and make sure she sees you in the company of other women.

Make sure she sees you having a good time with other girls.

friendship with romantic feelingsYou can even let her see you kiss a girl (and even more of that).

These are the kinds of things that will shock her and create an extreme feeling of jealousy.

Don’t limit yourself:

Meet other girls wherever and whenever you want.

Approach girls on the street, approach girls in bars or clubs, attend dancing lessons (group lessons, since there will be many girls you’ll be able to connect with).

And stay in touch with those girls so that you can see them again and include them into your social circle.

In order to ensure that your friend quickly learns about you seeing other women (and her not being the center of your universe anymore), make sure to quickly spread the rumor.

Talk about it to people she knows (but without looking like a guy who is bragging about himself).

For instance, you can say something like:

“I met a super cool girl last week, she’s pretty hot. I’m going to see her this afternoon, we’re getting along great.”

You’re going to give a hint that you meet interesting girls, that girls want to be with you, and so on.

The girl who put you into her friendzone is going to hear about it and she’s going to realize that she’s not the center of your universe anymore.

She’s going to realize that you’re just living your life. An exciting life, without her.

She’s going to see you more as a potential lover than as a mere friend.

the love life of a relationship coach

Spreading such rumors—rumors about you spending time with other girls—will allow you to get out of the friend zone pretty quickly.

It will allow you to quickly create this new mental picture of a potential lover in the mind of the girl you want to attract…which is key if you want to close the deal quickly.

Step 3: get back in touch with her

Now that you’ve created a clean break with the girl as well as a new picture of yourself in her mind, you can get back in touch with her.

Many guys do it the wrong way when they want to get back in touch with the girl that put them into her friend zone…which dooms them to stay into the friend zone.

We’re going to see below how you can get back in touch with your (former) friend in a way that will reinforce the picture of a potential lover you’ll have created in her mind.

Here we must distinguish between two cases:

A) You come across the girl (accidentally) and have a brief discussion with her:

That’s the option I prefer, since it is more natural and spontaneous.

You point out to the girl that it’s been a while since you’ve seen each other and you suggest doing something with her later in the week (hang out in a bar or a café, go for a walk or any other activity).

You tell her that you’ll send her a text later to set that up, or even better: set it up right away with her. The key is to keep it relatively short and stay mysterious.

Mystery is very powerful here. It is very exciting.

The girl will start making stories up in her head. She’s going to question himself. She’s going to become obsessive about you.

B) You can’t come across the girl (physically) and you get back in touch with her by sending her a text:

Either you text her or she texts you.

The best case scenario is when she’s the one who texts first.

If you’ve done a great job during step two, it could happen.

Now, in the event where she doesn’t get back in touch with you by herself, it’s you who will have to get back in touch with her.

What can you text her?

A great way to get back in touch with her in a spontaneous (and sort of accidental) way is to send her a text because something during your day made you think about her, and as a result you decided to send her a text.

It can be a mutual friend you just came across, something that made you think about a private joke you had together, a discussion with someone in which you talked about a topic that made you think about her, and so on.

The key is to find something implying that you thought about her in a spontaneous way.

This is important because it allows you to get back in touch with her in a natural way.

It doesn’t give the impression that you planned to get back in touch with her.

In your first text, you’re going to point out at the fact that it’s been a while.

Stressing this is going to make the clean break you created in step one more obvious. It’s going to amplify it.

What to do with her?

The key here is to invite her to do something you weren’t used to doing with her before (when you were still her “friend“).

Not a typical thing you used to do with her before.

Why, you might ask?

Well, simply because if you do a typical thing you used to do with her when you were in her friend zone, you’re going to ruin the newly created mental picture of yourself you’ll have created during the break.

Because it will remind her of the friend you used to be.

You must be different (or at least you must appear different).

You must not be seen as a friend, but instead as a potential lover.

You must have changed (at least in the eyes of the girl).

That’s precisely why you shouldn’t do something typical you used to do with her before.

stay out of the friendzone

If you used to hang out at a particular bar or café together when you were friends, then go have a drink in another bar or café (or don’t have a drink at all and do something different).

If you used to walk in a particular park together when you were friends, then go have a walk in another park (or don’t have a walk in a park at all and do something completely different).

The examples are limitless.

Step 4: seduce her

Now it’s time to turn her on and seal the deal.

I’m going to share with you some powerful tips you can use to create sexual tension and make the girl want you.

Ready to go from friend to boyfriend?

Let’s go:

Change her environment

Changing the environment of a girl is an effective strategy to get her to be more open-minded, and thus make seducing her easier.

The environment conditions her behaviour.

If you meet a girl in an environment she’s familiar with, she’s going to be more inclined to behave the way she’s used to behave.

On the other hand, if you meet her in an environment she’s not familiar with, she’s going to be more open to change.

one sided conversations with ideal partner

She’s going to be much more willing to let you lead the interaction and impose your frame.

This will increase the chances the girl won’t see you as a friend, but as a potential lover.

Make her jealous

Jealousy is a powerful weapon when you want to seduce a friend.

If you followed this plan rigorously, you probably already used this weapon (during step two).

By becoming jealous and feeling that other girls might be attracted to you, your friend is going to condition herself to be attracted to you and seduce you.

You can make this jealousy more vivid during your date with the girl by talking about other girls and letting her know (in a more or less subtle way) that you appreciate them.

Stay mysterious. Let her fill in the gap and make stories up in her head about it.

The key is to get her to wonder whether you favor another girl over her.

Disqualify her

You’re going to show indifference from time to time.

It will allow you to create a contrast: sometimes the girl will tell herself that you’re attracted to her, sometimes she’ll tell herself that you’re not attracted, and so on.

As a result, she’s going to question herself.

She’s going to wrench her mind.

And she’s going to become kind of obsessive over you.

unreciprocated romantic feelings with potential boyfriend

There are several ways to disqualify a girl: you can just ignore her (by looking elsewhere from time to time, as if you were bored), you can let her fill in the blanks in the conversation, you can tell her that you like blondes (if she’s a brunette) or that you like brunettes (if she’s blonde), and so on.

Sexualise the interaction

In order to make the girl see you as a potential lover and not as a friend, you need to create some sexual tension.

You need to make sure that the girl senses that something is going on between you and her.

There are many ways you can do this:

  • Complimenting her (bold compliments on her physical beauty are very effective in turning her on; they make her feel desired and cause her to see you as a man who might fuck her).
  • Touching her (physical contact is also quite effective in turning a girl on)
  • Looking her deep in the eyes

If you haven't done so yet: go watch this short video on how to use “Pavlov’s Theory” to make a girl hungry for your touch.

When you casually touch a woman in a certain way every time she has positive feelings, she starts to ASSOCIATE your touch with those “good feelings”… And very quickly she’s thinking about your touch all the time…

Using “Pavlov’s Theory” is one of 3 cool techniques my friend Kate shares in this instructional video (you can use these techniques right away).

How to get out of the friend zone: final thoughts

If you don’t want to get back in the friend zone of this girl, make sure you don’t wait too long before making a move.

how to get out of the friendzone with a woman and start a romantic relationshipTry to kiss her or bed her as soon as possible (as soon as the first date).

That’s how you’ll be certain not to end up in her friend zone again.

Once things have become sexual, it will be very hard for the girl to see you as just a friend again.

[BONUS] Instructional Video: Turn Her On Without Saying A Word

If you enjoyed this article (and even if you didn’t), you’ll love this instructional video in which my friend Kate shares 3 body language techniques to make women fantasize about you.

Here's why these techniques are so effective:

For hundreds of thousands of years, men had to seduce women without saying a single word.

Before spoken language even existed, the only tool men had to turn a woman on (and convince her to sleep with them) was what they could communicate with their body language.

Learn the body language to turn women on here:

thumbnail video

You see, because seduction and attraction was all done WITHOUT WORDS for most of our evolutionary history…

The sexual part of a woman’s brain is much more responsive to the signals your body is giving off than it is to anything you say.

That’s why it’s absolutely essential that you know how to turn a woman on regardless of what you say.

This instructional video shows you how…

In it, my friend Kate shares 3 tips for using the “secret language” of your body to get the girls you really want, to start fantasizing about you…


👉 A technique to make her crave your touch

👉 A technique for getting her to think about kissing you

👉 And a way to make her dream about you all day long

It’s powerful.

It’s practical.

And best of all, you can use these techniques right away...

Go here to watch Kate’s video now…

And be ready to take notes.

Stay solid,

About the Author

Expert in male-female relationships and passionate about evolutionary psychology, Jack has been helping for over 10 years men of all ages regain control of their sexual and love lives. He is known for his unique concept of solidity, which allows men to naturally attract the women they want by tapping into their inner masculine potential.