She Doesn’t Text Back: 13 Possible Causes (& What To Do)
What does it mean when a girl doesn’t text back?
Why do girls leave you on delivered?
What to text when a girl doesn’t reply?
That’s what we’re going to see in this article.
First by going through the different reasons why a woman might stop answering your texts…
And then by looking at what you can do to get her to text you again (without feeling “forced” to do so).
Let’s get started.
Table of Contents
Can’t even get a text back?
If the girl you like has suddenly stopped answering your messages, you may be confused. Especially if the text conversation had started well.
Until very recently, she was responding to your messages.
Maybe she was even sending you texts all by herself.
You didn’t feel like you had to do all the talking.
This girl was engaging in the conversation.
But suddenly (or gradually, depending on the circumstances), she became distant.
She stopped showing interest in you.
She stopped sending you spontaneous messages.
She started to take more and more time to text you back.
Her messages became shorter and shorter.
Until she stopped replying.
And now she doesn’t text back at all.
Even when your message contains a question.
It’s even more frustrating if you know she’s seen your message (by the check marks or the “Seen” that usually appear next to messages after they’ve been viewed).
At this point, it’s clear to you that there’s something wrong.
Why isn’t she responding?
Did she really see my message?
Did I say something wrong?
When it is obvious that this woman has seen your text and has deliberately chosen to ignore it, it’s frustrating. You can even start resenting her.
It feels like a blatant lack of respect on her part.
It’s like asking someone a question face-to-face, knowing that they’ve heard your question, but this person deliberately choses to ignore you.
You’d view it as a complete mockery.
Because at this point, the other person isn’t even pretending that they didn’t hear your question.
This woman knows that you know she read your message (unless she’s completely retarded).
And yet, she doesn’t respond.
It’s complete radio silence.
See also: She Texted Me Everyday Then Stopped
And it’s even more frustrating if on top of that she’s active on social media (which means that her cell phone is with her, and therefore she’s available).
How to deal with this situation?
And what could be the reasons for this silence?
Why doesn’t she text back? 13 possible causes
Let’s go through the different reasons why a woman may not (or no longer) answer your texts.
1. You’ve bored her
You may have allowed yourself to be too invested in the conversation.
You sent her too many messages, you asked her too many questions…
In short, you annoyed her, you smothered her.
She saw you as a clingy guy, as a guy who is all over her, or even as a desperate guy. And as a result, she decided to end your conversation, by simply ignoring you.
If she’s cute, she probably gets dozens of messages a day from guys who want to bang her.
A lot of these guys go about it the wrong way and make the mistake of annoying her by sending her too many messages.
If you’re intrusive in your messages, she’ll automatically associate you with these guys. And she’ll just cut you off.
2. She despises you
If you have been too insistent, if you’ve given her too much attention, if you’ve tried too hard to create a connection or to be liked by her…
…then it’s likely that she now feels some contempt for you.
Here’s what you need to understand:
When you make yourself too available for a girl (and you allow her to see it), you’re communicating one thing: that you have no life, that you have nothing better to do than to text this woman.
You make a woman you barely know your priority in life.
But that’s not all…
By ostensibly trying to please this woman, you make her feel like she’s your only option. And therefore that you have no option besides her, and thus that other women are probably not interested in you (which is not reassuring…and is anything but attractive).
If on top of that you write like a child (with 15 smiley faces per message, exclamation marks all over the place, and spelling errors everywhere), you’ll be seen as a man of low social status (which will not work in your favor).
Women despise men who throw themselves at their feet. Even more so if those men are men they consider to be of low value.
3. She has forgotten that you texted her
She may simply have forgotten to respond to you.
She saw your message, but couldn’t respond right away because of a pressing matter. She may have been planning to reply later, but…forgot.
This is obviously not a good sign, as it indicates a lack of interest on her part. You’re clearly not her priority (unless it’s a deliberate move on her part to appear more inaccessible, and thus more desirable, as we’ll see below).
You should be able to restart the conversation by sending her a new message. But not just any message (we’ll come back to this below).
4. She’s testing you
She may find you too sure of yourself and want to see if she can destabilize you.
She may also be unsure of her interest in you and thus want to test your toughness, to see if you have what it takes to be her boyfriend.
So she deliberately makes you wait by leaving your message unanswered.
She wants to see how you’ll react.
Are you going to panic like a weak beta male?
Or will you handle the situation like a strong, masculine man?
5. She’s lazy
Answering your text may require too much effort (or attention) on her part.
And she’s not interested in you enough to make this effort.
She’d rather scroll through Instagram or binge watch Netflix.
This is especially true if your message is drowned in a mass of messages from other guys who want to bang her.
She has so much male attention that she knows she doesn’t need to make an effort to find a guy.
So she makes as little effort as possible.
6. She doesn’t know what to text
She saw your message and doesn’t know what to text back.
So…no answer.
At least not yet.
She may respond later today, or a day later.
This can be a positive sign, in the sense that a woman who bothers crafting a good message for you is probably a woman who values what you think of her. She doesn’t want to send you just anything and risk losing value in your eyes.
Related: What To Say To A Girl Over Text
7. She hasn’t had the time to respond to you yet
She has seen your message, but has not yet had the time to respond.
Maybe she didn’t know what to say the first time she read it (see the previous point) and then had pressing matters that prevented her from continuing the conversation.
Or maybe she was in a rush when she received your text and only had time to read it.
If she’s interested in you at all, chances are she’ll respond when she has a moment.
8. She has met another guy
More problematic: she has recently met another guy, who she feels attracted to.
This guy has done a better job than you in attracting her. He has done what’s needed to become an object of desire for this woman.
He’s now the one who occupies her thoughts. And it’s now to him that she writes messages, and to whom she answers.
You’ve taken a back seat.
She may not even feel desire for you at all anymore (especially if you’ve been clingy and demanding with her lately).
9. She’s giving you the cold shoulder
You may have been a little mean to her lately.
For instance, by throwing a harsh joke at her, or by neglecting her too much.
You may also have made her (too) jealous, by dating other women in front of her.
As a result, she resents you.
And she’s letting you know it by deliberately ignoring your messages.
She wants to hurt you, just like you hurt her (even if it wasn’t intentional on your part).
She wants to make you feel that something is wrong, that you’ve gone too far.
Related: What Does It Mean When A Girl Goes Silent On Text
This is one of the easiest situations on this list to deal with.
A woman who gives you the cold shoulder is rarely an indifferent woman.
She’s emotionally invested in you.
She may also feel that you have too much control over the relationship, and it drives her crazy (in a good way).
She wishes you were as invested in her as she is in you, and retaliates for your lack of investment by distancing herself (…only to come back later).
10. She wants to appear more desirable
She wants to appear more desirable, by playing hard to get.
So she acts as if she didn’t care about you…
…when in reality, she’s into you.
She is attracted to you, and wants to increase her value in your eyes.
She may sense that there are other women who compete for your attention, and deliberately pulls away stand out and excite your hunter’s instinct.
She may also have come to realize (or believe) that she displayed too much interest in you lately. Therefore, she’s now trying to compensate by doing the opposite: acting aloof, as if you didn’t exist to her, so that you don’t perceive her as an easy girl.
In short, she wants you to desire her more.
Which is a good sign, as it is not the kind of thing an indifferent woman would do.
11. She just wanted male attention
Maybe all she was originally looking for was male attention, to satisfy her ego.
She has conversations with multiple suitors, but doesn’t want to go further with them.
You may have come across this type of woman.
She’s had her fill of attention from you, and now she’s ignoring you.
You can use the techniques I’m going to share with you below to turn things around (but if it’s only attention she’s after, you probably won’t get much out of this woman).
12. Her battery just died
Maybe her phone battery died just as she was about to answer you.
She’ll be able to answer you once she finds a way to recharge her smartphone.
13. She has no network coverage or weak signal
Another technical problem that can explain her not texting back.
She saw your message, but before she had time to reply she entered an area with poor network coverage, making it impossible for her to send messages.
Of course, if you see that she’s still active on social media, you can rule out this last hypothesis (and the one before).
Well…
So much for the possible reasons why a girl may not text you back.
See also: My Girlfriend Doesn’t Text Me As Much Anymore
Now let’s have a look at what you can do when a girl doesn’t text back…
What to do if she doesn’t text back
Let’s begin with what you should absolutely avoid doing. Because if you fall into these traps, everything that comes after will be of no use to you.
What not to do:
In the absence of a response from a woman they like, many guys make mistakes that worsen the situation (and sometimes ruin everything when there was actually nothing to worry about).
Let me explain:
When a woman doesn’t respond quickly to their last message, many guys start to panic.
Some guys think it’s a bug, suspecting that maybe the girl didn’t actually get their message.
They get impatient, and send another text…
And another one.
And another one.
They usually end up getting a reply from the girl, who was simply not available before, or had a technical problem preventing her from replying earlier.
And it would have been enough for them to wait a little bit after their first message to receive an answer.
But they were impatient, and sent follow-up messages before the girl even had the time to answer.
As a result, they came off as clingy and needy.
This mistake makes them lose significant value in the eyes of the girl.
When it would have been enough to just give her the time to answer.
When a woman doesn’t respond to one of your texts, you might also come to think that it’s because of the message in itself.
Maybe I should have added a question to increase the chances that she gets back to me…
Maybe I should have added a bit of humor to make her laugh…
Maybe she didn’t like what I wrote…
Maybe my question wasn’t original enough…
And naturally, you feel the need to make adjustments…
…by sending one or more additional messages.
You’ve got it: by doing this, you shoot yourself in the foot (or even in the head, in some cases).
Not only do you come off as clingy, but you also come off as a guy who feels the need to justify himself, as if trying to prove something to this girl.
You come off as an insecure guy.
Far too concerned about what this woman thinks of him.
When this woman would have answered in most cases.
She just had more pressing matters or a technical problem that didn’t allow her to answer right away.
You just had to give her enough time.
So don’t fall into this trap.
Even if your last message could be improved, don’t send her an additional message to try to complement that first message.
When a woman is slow to respond, resist the urge to text her again (at least for some time).
Whether it’s to ask her if she got your text or to complement your previous message.
Give her time to respond.
Wait several days if necessary.
If you send her another text too soon, you’ll quickly come off as needy, clingy, or even panicked.
You’ll make her feel like she’s in control of the relationship (or the pre-relationship, if you’re not yet in a relationship with her).
She’ll feel that you’re a little too interested in her. And that you’re (much) more invested in the conversation than she is.
This will kill any desire she might have felt for you…and make her distance herself even more.
By texting her again too quickly, you produce the opposite of the desired effect: you reduce the chances that she’ll respond to your text.
So resist the temptation to send her another text.
What to do:
Now that we’ve had a look at the traps to avoid when a woman doesn’t text back, let’s see what you can do to rekindle the conversation.
👉 In the first instance, do NOTHING.
The best thing you can do at first is…nothing.
Wait.
Give her time to respond.
She may have a technical hitch or something else going on.
She may be testing you to see if you’ll go nuts.
She may be thinking about what to text you.
In any case, the best thing to do at this point is to do nothing.
Don’t send her another message.
Go silent for several days or even weeks.
First, it’ll keep you from making the mistake seen above (and thus from shooting yourself in the foot, or in the head).
And second, it’ll make the girl see you as a guy who is not looking at all costs to connect with her. And therefore as a guy who doesn’t need her affection, contrary to most other guys who send her messages.
This detachment of yours will have the effect of reinforcing her interest in you…and making her want to respond.
See also: How Long Should I Wait To Text Her Back?
👉 If you still have no answer after several days (or weeks) of waiting, you can send her another message (but not just any message):
You must avoid at all costs text messages that make you look like a needy guy, begging for affection.
Even subtly (women are very sensitive: they have a kind of sixth sense for detecting guys who are seeking their affection, even remotely).
Your message should look detached, without expectations.
The goal is to reactivate the conversation in a way that doesn’t make you sound like a guy trying to connect with her.
To do this, you must avoid messages that could put pressure on her, like messages that call for a response from her.
So avoid messages that contain a question.
When you ask a question, you increase the chances that you’ll sound needy (because you’re in the expectation of something, per definition).
And paradoxically, it doesn’t make her want to answer you.
She may answer you, but she’ll do so under the impression that she’s doing it under duress. She’ll see it as a chore. And your exchange will suffer as a result.
To rekindle the conversation in a sustainable way, texting you must be her idea.
For this reason, it’s better if your message doesn’t contact a request from you (like a question).
But that’s not all…
As you’ve understood, your text should not make you look like a needy man, who is all over her.
For this reason, you must at all costs avoid sending her a large block of text.
Because the longer your message is, the more invested you appear (and conversely, the shorter your message is, the less invested you appear).
To sound detached, keep your message short.
And ideally, make sure your message looks spontaneous. You won’t want it to sound premeditated. You can for instance text her about something you just saw that made you think of her or about which you have a private joke together, or text her about a good mutual friend who just spoke to you about her…
In short, something quick and easy, without overthinking.
Read: How To Restart A Conversation With A Girl
The other benefit of a message like this is that you don’t lose value if she doesn’t respond.
You didn’t ask a question or make any kind of request.
Your text didn’t particularly call for a response.
So if she doesn’t answer, it’s not like she disrespected you.
She won’t think that she treated you like a mop by forgetting to answer you, and that you have no self-respect if you text her again later.
Your message was just a way to share good feelings at a given moment, without expecting anything in return.
See also: Text To Make Her Fall In Love
If she responds, great.
If she doesn’t respond, it’s not a big deal, you can try again later.
Wait at least a week or two before you try again, so you don’t come off as an over-invested guy.
And move on if she continues to ignore you (this is what may actually make her want to finally answer you, feeling that she might be losing you for good).
[MUST-READ] Be DOMINANT with Women: Know How to MASTER Them (In Everyday Life) to Make Them Fantasize About You
If you enjoyed this article (and even if you didn’t), you’ll love this other extensive post I recently published:
There’s something you need to understand:
Women want to be submissive.
They fantasize about sexual submission.
And when they meet a dominant man who has the potential to satisfy their submission fantasies, it makes them desire him intensely.
Sounds shocking or surprising to you?
Keep reading…
Today, you’re going to learn how to master women in a way that will turn them on.
You’re going to learn how to dominate women to make them wet with desire.
And NOT just in bed:
You’re going to implement this in other contexts and environments, be it after an approach, on a date, at a party, and more.
You’re going to implement this in your everyday life with the women you like so that they see you as a powerful dominant male who is able to satisfy their desires and take them to seventh heaven.
These actions you’re going to implement daily with the girls you want will lead them to see you as THE man to date.
You’ll stand out.
Women will see you as a potential lover and as a good lay (and that’s a bit of an understatement).
However, there are things you need to understand first.
You’ve got to be ready to try certain things that are a bit bold (more or less depending on the girl and the situation).
It's all there:
Stay solid,
Jack
