Why Is My Girlfriend So Indecisive: 6 Reasons (+ 4 Things To Do)
Why is my girlfriend so indecisive?
Is it because she doesn’t love me?
What can I do to make her decide?
You’ve started a relationship with a girl but she seems undecided?
There can be different causes…and different solutions (depending on the cause).
And that’s exactly what we’re going to see in this post.
What you’re going to learn here is based on my experience as a relationship coach over the past ten years, during which I’ve helped hundreds of men win over women who were undecided with them.
Pay attention to what comes next, these tips might help you turn things around too.
Table of Contents
Why is my girlfriend so indecisive: 6 possibles reasons
Let’s start at the beginning: why is this woman indecisive?
Then we’ll talk about the different options you have at your disposal to deal with such a partner…and make her decide.
👉 She’s not sure about her feelings for you
This woman may be undecided simply because of her lack of interest in you.
You want a relationship with her, you may even be in love with her, but…it doesn’t seem to be mutual.
She probably cares about you, but she doesn’t feel so attracted to you that she wants to start a relationship with you.
Here, this is an attraction issue.
You may not have done what’s necessary to make her want to be with you.
Or you may have made mistakes that caused her desire for you to drop…and her doubts to rise.
She’s not as interested in you as you are in her.
👉 She wants (or hopes) to find someone better
She may feel good with you, but knows (or thinks) that she deserves better.
Hence her indecisiveness.
You don’t feel she’s as committed to the relationship as you are.
She is not fully involved, far from it.
This is because she remains open to suitors she would consider to have a higher value than yours (and especially a higher status).
See also: My Crush Likes Me But Doesn’t Want A Relationship
👉 She’s afraid because she’s been hurt in the past
She may have suffered a traumatic breakup in the past.
Therefore, she’s afraid to engage again in a serious relationship with a man, for fear that she’ll suffer again if things don’t work out.
You may remind her of an ex-boyfriend she had a bad experience with.
She has feelings for you, but is afraid to go further.
She’s afraid of what might happen if things go wrong.
See also: Signs She Sees A Future With You
👉 She’s still thinking about her ex
She’s not over her ex yet.
This one may still be very much on her mind.
She’s still in love with him and other guys seem bland compared to him.
Maybe she even secretly (consciously or not) hopes to get back together with him.
She may not be completely indifferent to you, but the feelings she still has for him don’t leave room for strong feelings for you.
You don’t hold the first place in her heart.
👉 She doesn’t trust you
Maybe you’ve betrayed her in some way.
As a result, she’s not sure she wants to continue her relationship with you.
Something has happened that has shaken her confidence in you.
Here, her indecision can be real (she’s really considering cutting ties), or simulated (she wants to stay with you but is playing the indecisive woman to punish you, by making you suffer).
👉 She doesn’t want to commit to a serious relationship
You may be dealing with an “independent” woman who got it into her head that she doesn’t need a man in her life.
Maybe she’s a careerist who swears only by her job.
Or a woman who wants to keep her “freedom” to sleep with whoever she wants whenever she wants until she’s too old.
See also: 13 Telling Signs She Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You
So much for the different possible causes that could explain the indecisiveness of a woman with you.
Let’s now see what you can do to make her decide.
But first…
Should you cut ties with an undecided woman?
This is a question that is often asked by men who are dealing with an undecided woman.
Should you cut ties with her to stop worrying once and for all, or should you persist at the risk of wasting your time, your energy and your emotions?
Here, the first question to ask yourself is this one:
Is her indecision due to you?
Or is it due to some external factors?
If her indecision is due to you, that means it is due to things you can probably change.
For instance, it may be a lack of desire for you, a lack of confidence in yourself, or other factors related to you that you can do something about.
In this case, it may be a good idea to try and act on these factors before giving up (I’ll show you how below).
On the other hand, if the woman’s indecision is due to external factors over which you have no control, it would probably be better to stop wasting your time and energy.
If you’ve tried everything and it hasn’t worked to make her decide, it may be time to cut ties so you don’t suffer unnecessary pain.
…unless your feelings for her are moderate: in that case you can keep her as a friend. Maybe time will break down her blockages (but don’t count on that either, it’s way too uncertain).
Note:
In some cases, cutting a woman off can be a shock to her, making her realize that she is losing you (or has lost you).
It can also have the effect of making you inaccessible to her, and therefore more desirable (which can make her finally decide, especially if you use the tips below).
My recommendation: don’t waste too much time with an undecided woman, and cut ties quickly, if only temporarily, to see how she reacts.
4 tips to make her finally decide
Combine the 4 tips below for maximum results.
1. Don’t try to convince her with logical arguments
This is one of the most common mistakes men make with undecided women: trying to convince them rationally.
However, even though her indecisiveness with you may have a rational basis, her blockage is mostly emotional.
It’s her emotions that dictate her actions (this is true for most people, but even more so for women, who are loyal to their emotions before their reason).
It’s not by cold, logical, rational arguments that you’ll change her mind.
To make her finally decide to take things to the next level with you, you must talk to her emotions.
So don’t try to convince her rationally.
Even if you have the best arguments in the world.
First, because it won’t have the desired effect.
And secondly, because it may make you sound like a desperate guy (which will make her want to run away more than anything else, causing her desire for you to drop).
2. Become more desirable to her
As we’ve seen, the key to making your girlfriend more decided about you and your relationship with you is to talk to her emotions. It’s to talk to her feelings.
And you do this by working on her desire.
By becoming more desirable in her eyes.
For instance by working on yourself, by adopting a more attractive attitude, by making yourself less accessible, possibly by putting her in competition with other women…
The strategy you’ll choose will depend on the reasons for her indecision (for instance, if she’s indecisive because you cheated on her, it’s better to avoid using jealousy).
See also: Best Tips On How To Get A Girlfriend
3. Reassure her (subtly)
If your girlfriend is indecisive because she’s afraid or doesn’t trust you, make sure to reassure her.
But not in any way.
Smoothly.
And without insisting.
Because if you act pushy with her, she might feel forced and as a result get defensive. She might also see you as a needy or desperate guy.
So reassure her without being insistent, pressing, or demanding.
4. Change on the problematic points
If her blockages are due to some problematic aspects of your life (for instance bad habits you might have), correct them.
But without giving the impression that you’re doing it for her (that would make you look like a guy who is ready to do anything for her, therefore like a desperate guy, or like her little lapdog that she can dispose of as she likes).
You must first and foremost make these changes for yourself.
Without expecting anything in return from this woman.
That’s how they’ll produce the desired effects.
[MUST-READ] Be DOMINANT with Women: Know How to MASTER Them (In Everyday Life) to Make Them Fantasize About You
If you enjoyed this article (and even if you didn’t), you’ll love this other extensive post I recently published:
There’s something you need to understand:
Women want to be submissive.
They fantasize about sexual submission.
And when they meet a dominant man who has the potential to satisfy their submission fantasies, it makes them desire him intensely.
Sounds shocking or surprising to you?
Keep reading…
Today, you’re going to learn how to master women in a way that will turn them on.
You’re going to learn how to dominate women to make them wet with desire.
And NOT just in bed:
You’re going to implement this in other contexts and environments, be it after an approach, on a date, at a party, and more.
You’re going to implement this in your everyday life with the women you like so that they see you as a powerful dominant male who is able to satisfy their desires and take them to seventh heaven.
These actions you’re going to implement daily with the girls you want will lead them to see you as THE man to date.
You’ll stand out.
Women will see you as a potential lover and as a good lay (and that’s a bit of an understatement).
However, there are things you need to understand first.
You’ve got to be ready to try certain things that are a bit bold (more or less depending on the girl and the situation).
It's all there:
Stay solid,
Jack
