How To Get A Girlfriend (Fast): 9 Crucial Steps You Need To Take

I want a girlfriend

I need a girlfriend

How do I get a girlfriend?”

A lot of guys think that all they have to do to get a girlfriend is wait for her to appear in their life, as if by magic.

how to get a girlfriend important thing emotional attachment

They think that one day the perfect 10 will somehow be introduced to them (or even approach them), just like that. And that by some miracle she’ll fall in love with them.

I thought the same when I was bit younger.

I was single, frustrated… but I wasn’t doing anything to find that girlfriend I wanted so much.

I was just waiting, hoping that one day an attractive girl would approach me or be introduced to me by friends.

However, I came to realize that if I relied on such hopes, I could wait a (very) long time. Even an eternity.

That’s why one day I decided to take my life in hand.
By creating my own luck.

And that’s what allowed me to finally get the kind of girlfriend I once thought was way out of my league.

If you find yourself in a situation where you’d like to meet more girls (and find a girlfriend that you truly like), you can start doing the same thing today.

➡️ If you haven’t done so yet: take a look at this article in which I show you how you can master women in a way that will turn them on.

In other words, how to dominate women to make them wet with desire.

And NOT just in bed: you’re going to implement these small actions in other contexts and environments, be it after an approach, on a date, at a party, in your everyday life with your girlfriend or wife (or with your ex), and more… so that the woman you like sees you as a powerful dominant male who is able to satisfy her deepest desires and take her to seventh heaven.

...which is what is going to make her want to sleep with you…and even chase you.

Here are the 9 crucial steps you need to take to make it happen.

1) Adopt a state of mind that attracts girls

This is the fundamental step in finding a girl you like.

Adopting the right state of mind.

Your state of mind is the very basis of your success with girls.

In practice:

👉 Get rid of all your limiting beliefs

A limiting belief is a belief that prevents you from progressing. It’s a barrier that you impose on yourself.

Here are some examples of limiting beliefs: “You have to be handsome to attract beautiful women”, “Women don’t like to be approached by random guys”, “I scare women away”, “I’m too short”… There are an infinity of them.

It’s because of these false beliefs that so many guys are afraid to approach girls they find attractive. These false beliefs are the ones you use as an excuse not to take action when the opportunity arises.

For instance, today you go out with the idea of approaching the first attractive girl you run into, but when the opportunity arises you get cold feet and find an excuse like “It’s not appropriate to approach random girls on the street”, “It’s going to sound weird if I go talk to her”, “She seems to be in a hurry”, “She looks busy”, “She’s wearing some headphones”, and on and on… (like I said, those excuses are countless, there are an infinity of them)

These are exactly the kind of beliefs you need to erase from your mind.

Who said it was wrong to approach women on the street? Who said you’d look like a weirdo if you go talk to a girl you find attractive? No one (except maybe some ugly feminists or some average frustrated chumps who would be jealous of your success if you did so).

Stop allowing these false beliefs to hold you back in life.


👉 Adopt empowering beliefs

Instead of limiting beliefs, you’re going to adopt empowering beliefs.

Empowering beliefs are positive beliefs that push you where you want to be.

You literally turn the tables: instead of being limited by limiting beliefs, you’re driven by empowering beliefs. It’s as simple as that.

You reprogram your thinking so that when it’s time to take action you don’t say to yourself “Women don’t like to be approached by random guys” BUT “Women love to be approached by guys like me”… Or you don’t say to yourself “I’m going to look weird if I approach her” BUT “She’s going to be super happy that I came up to her”, and so on.

online dating how to get a gf after a few dates

To change your beliefs, you simply need to think differently.

Convince yourself that you’re good at approaching women, that women love to meet guys like you (which is true), that you’re a charming guy that naturally attracts women, and so on.

You can use the technique of repeating empowering lines to yourself every day. Like for instance:

  • “Women love to be approached by guys like me”
  • “Girls love to meet new people”
  • “I’m ultra extroverted”
  • “Every day I get more and more pleasure approaching random girls”
  • “I love to meet new people”

Make a list of five to ten empowering lines to repeat to yourself every day.

You’ll see that after a few weeks or even a few days your limiting beliefs will be much less present.

An even more radical way to get rid of your limiting beliefs is to PROVE through practice that they are false. Go out and approach a few girls on the street and you’ll see that it’s totally okay to go and talk to women on the street.

2) Put the odds on your side

Before you start looking for a girlfriend, you need to set the stage.

Because being able to meet new women is cool, but if they don’t want to come into your life what’s the point?

If you want to get a girlfriend, you must entice women to be part of your life.

You must have something to bring them: emotions, excitement, value, opportunities…
Women are drawn to men who can take them out of their routine.

That’s why you must strive to improve your lifestyle. You must strive to build a life for yourself that inspires women.

And if you don’t have such an amazing life yet, you must at least give the impression that you might.

And this starts with…

Taking care of your appearance.

Because it goes hand in hand with this positive first impression that you want to make.

how to get girlfriend on second date in coffee shop

You know it: first impressions are often decisive.

A bad first impression will handicap you for the rest of your interaction (and even relationship) with a girl. While a good first impression will make the rest of the interaction (and relationship) easy, and even make the girl forgive some mistakes or weaknesses in your game.

And this first impression starts with…your clothing.

Because no matter what you think, when you don’t know someone clothes make the man:

If you pass by a stinking guy dressed in tatters, what are you going to think? That he’s a bum.
On the other hand, if you pass by guy in a suit wearing a nice watch, you’ll think he’s probably a wealthy business man.

That’s how things works.

dating coach she'll notice she's flirting

When you meet someone for the first time, you only have their looks to make an opinion about this person.

So don’t overlook this point.

This doesn’t mean you have to dress in a suit. Just dress up, with quality clothes that fit you well. Like an adult and not like a schoolboy who’s still in his teenage crisis.

how do you get a girlfriend spend time local eventsDon’t make the mistake of overlooking this point by thinking that “people who judge by appearances are shallow people”.

The thing is, when someone doesn’t know you, the only thing they have at their disposal to form a first opinion of you is your appearance. Don’t forget that.

So put the odds on your side by:

  • dressing up
  • working out
  • taking care of your health and your hygiene

…so that you can make a positive first impression on the girls you meet.

This will also help you attract more people in general in your life, and thus expand your social circle, which in turn will:

  • bring more people (including women) in your life
  • increase your social status (which will make you more attractive to women)

3) Go out

Where do I find a girlfriend?

One thing is for sure, you won’t find her by staying at home (unless you try internet dating, but that’s definitely not the best option if you want to meet attractive women).

If you want to meet hot girls that will want to get to know you (and hook up with you), you’re going to have to get out of your place.

If you want to be able to find and seduce interesting women easily and regularly, you’re going to have to go out of your house/flat.

👉 To find a girlfriend, get out of your comfort zone

Don’t sit on your couch in front of the TV or waste your time on social media.

Because while you’re wasting this precious time doing nothing, girls are living their life outside, walking on the streets, in the stores, in bars and cafes

If you stay at home in your comfort zone, you won’t achieve much.

It’s by trying new things that you’ll live the most exciting experiences of your life (including meeting beautiful and interesting women).

By trying new things, you put yourself in a state of mind that makes you more curious and open. On the other hand, by staying in our comfort zone, you quickly get lazy and afraid of trying new stuff.

tips on how to get a girlfriend stop worrying and approach girls

When you go to the same nightclub every Friday night and approach women there with the same technique, you quickly get used to it. Your mind is no longer in discovery mode. You know the place. You’ve set up a systematic way of approaching the girls. You’ve become less curious and that affects the way you interact with them.

But when you vary the places where you hangout and the ways you approach women there, you behave in a more spontaneous and playful way. You enjoy more. You have more fun. And this night becomes memorable.

So make it a habit of stepping out of your comfort zone. Try new things as often as you can. Develop new interests.

Try new approaches regularly, vary the places you go out, and so on.

👉 Where to meet girls?

There are many places where you can meet women.

Of course, there are bars and nightclubs. There is the street. But there are also many other places that you don’t think about.

Read: Best Places To Meet Girls

How to find a girlfriend fast?

Here is the secret:

You must be on alert wherever you are. You must be ready all the time. I have met a lot of girls in unexpected places, such as a tourist office or a restaurant bathroom.

4) Multiply your opportunities to meet women

If you want to find a girlfriend fast, you must multiply the opportunities to meet one.

To do this, the key is to multiply the number of places you go to where you’ll be able to meet women.

best way to get a girlfriend start conversations with right girl

Go to parties organized by your friends.

Go out and meet girls on the street.

Sign up for dance classes or yoga classes (or any other activity where you’ll be sure to find a lot of women).

And on and on.

she's interested and will start datingIf you make it a habit of going to places where women hang out, you’ll be in constant contact with women.

And you’ll be able to meet new girls easily.

Whether we’re talking about potential girlfriends or girls you just want to be friends with (being friends with girls has a huge advantage: this makes other women desire you more…and allows you to meet more women, the friends of your girl friends).

5) Approach

The more natural and spontaneous your approach, the better.

Your pick up line should be tailored to the girl you approach. A woman hates the idea of being approached like a dozen others before her. She wants to feel unique in your eyes.

The best pick up lines you can use for a natural approach are contextual pickup lines.

A contextual opening line is an opening line that you find in the moment, based on the situation.

Such opening lines are effective because they make your approach spontaneous. You don’t come across as a robot repeating a memorized phrase. And you don’t feel like you’re playing a role, you’re just being YOU.

best way to get a girlfriend first date similar interests

To come up with a good contextual pick up line, use your sense of observation: you can create a pick up line based on something you observed in the girl (the way she’s dressed, the way she walks, something she has just done…) or on what is happening around you at that moment.

And if you’re not inspired in the moment, a simple “Hi, I was walking over there, I just saw you and I wanted to say hello” with a charming smile will do the job.

See also: Pick Up Lines For Flirting

Note: Sometimes you won’t even have to approach. The girl who will approach you or be introduced to you (for instance if you built a social circle that allows you to meet a lot of girls and hang out in places or events where there are a lot of women).

6) Turn her on

To make the girl you approach your girlfriend, you must seduce her.

👉 Make her want to be with you

Don’t be needy or clingy.

You don’t want her to see you as a desperate guy in need of her affection.

That’s not what women want (quite the contrary).

conversation starters on dating apps

You don’t need her affection (that’s at least what you must make her think).

You have an exciting life, have friends with whom you live thrilling experiences, have tons of opportunities…

You don’t need that girl.

That’s what you should convey.

Because that’s what will make her want to be part of your life.

Make sure to radiate positive energy when interacting with women (but keep it cool at the same time, you don’t want to look over enthusiastic, as it might make you look needy, like you’re trying to prove something).

Just don’t put any pressure on yourself and focus on having a good time with the girls you interact with.

👉 Make her attracted to you

Make this woman attracted to you by using masculine non-verbal communication:

  • Speak slowly: Take your time when you speak. Deliver your words with a calm and low voice, with poise. Talking slower will not only make you appear much stronger in a confrontation, but it will also allow you to attract women much more easily.
  • Adopt a relaxed body language: Adopt a relaxed posture. And move slowly and calmly, not rapidly and nervously. A relaxed body language is what make the girl perceive you as a dominant and confident man.
  • Relax your face: Relax your face muscles (jaw, eyelids, cheeks…). Not only it will make you appear more solid, but it will also make you feel more serene.
  • Look right into her eyes: Choose one eye (her right eye or her left eye), then stare at it when talking to her. By looking at the girl right in the eye when you talk to her, you radiate self-confidence and solidity. And you can effectively connect with her.
  • Don’t be reactive: Don’t react to everything you notice. Don’t react to each and every perturbation in your environment. It makes you look nervous, shaky and unstable. The strong, masculine man isn’t that sensitive. He’s tougher.

👉 Create sexual tension

If you want the girl you interact with to see you as a potential boyfriend, you need to create sexual tension with her. You need to sexualize the interaction.

How do you do this?

You do this by expressing your desire. So that she understands (or feels) that you find her sexually attractive. And that she feels that something is going on between you.

You can express your interest by complimenting her, by looking her deep in the eyes for a long time, by touching her…

Anything that makes her feel that you find her sexually attractive…and makes her imagine a possible relationship with you.

This is as true if you’re looking for a serious relationship with this woman as if you just want to have fun.

Because either way, you want her to see you as MORE than just a potential friend.
And to do that, she needs to see you as a sexual man.

she's comfortable and will possibly find attractive

The key to creating sexual tension with a girl is to express your desire for her without sounding needy or too much interested.

This girl must know that you’re interested in her, but without seeing you as a guy who’s all over her (more on that below).

7) Blow hot and cold

That’s one of the keys to make this girl want to chase you.

Blowing hot and cold.

In other words, sometimes displaying interest in her and at other times expressing no interest at all.

For instance, giving her a compliment that indicates that you find her sexually attractive, and then ignoring her so that she starts wondering about your intentions with her.

This is tremendously effective to make a woman obsessed with you.

And, above all, that’s how you make sure that this woman doesn’t see you as a guy who is all over her.

Ignoring her and acting aloof from time to time is what allows you to balance your expression of desires.

That’s how you make sure she never takes you for granted.

8) Escalate

If you’ve diligently followed the previous steps, by now the girl should be hot and ready.

It’s now time to take action accordingly.

It’s the time to make a move.

You can go for the kiss whenever you’re alone with her and you feel that she’s ready (for instance when she’s looking deep in your eyes without saying anything).

Pro tip: you don’t even have to start with a kiss on the lips, you can very well go for the neck (and then move to the lips if you want).

most important thing girl likes physical contact

Important: Once you’ve built enough sexual tension, don’t wait too much before making a move. If you take too long, she could see you as a guy who is afraid to take action to get what he wants, or as an asexual guy. Which is anything but attractive, and is likely to get you into the friend zone.

9) Make it serious

Now that you’ve kissed her (or even slept with her), you’ve officially made things sexual with her.

Which means that you’re at the beginning of a romantic relationship with this girl.

But that doesn’t mean that this relationship is serious yet.

For this relationship to get really serious, you must keep this girl attracted to you.

Read: How To Start A Relationship With A Girl

And to do so, you must now allow her to take her for granted.

You must remain a challenge in her eyes.

she's talking friend zoned or healthy relationship

To this end, don’t get too much invested in her emotionally.

You shouldn’t make her your priority in life. Because if you do, you’ll be way too attached to her and she’ll sense it (which might drive her away).

Take it easy, don’t get too involved at first, and you’ll see that the bond between you will naturally strengthen.

See also: What Women Need In A Relationship

[MUST-READ] Be DOMINANT with Women: Know How to MASTER Them (In Everyday Life) to Make Them Fantasize About You

If you enjoyed this article (and even if you didn’t), you’ll love this other extensive post I recently published:

>> Be DOMINANT with Women: Know How to MASTER Them (In Everyday Life) to Make Them Fantasize About You

There’s something you need to understand:

Women want to be submissive.

They fantasize about sexual submission.

And when they meet a dominant man who has the potential to satisfy their submission fantasies, it makes them desire him intensely.

Sounds shocking or surprising to you?

Keep reading…

Today, you’re going to learn how to master women in a way that will turn them on.

You’re going to learn how to dominate women to make them wet with desire.

And NOT just in bed:

You’re going to implement this in other contexts and environments, be it after an approach, on a date, at a party, and more.

You’re going to implement this in your everyday life with the women you like so that they see you as a powerful dominant male who is able to satisfy their desires and take them to seventh heaven.

These actions you’re going to implement daily with the girls you want will lead them to see you as THE man to date.

You’ll stand out.

Women will see you as a potential lover and as a good lay (and that’s a bit of an understatement).

However, there are things you need to understand first.

You’ve got to be ready to try certain things that are a bit bold (more or less depending on the girl and the situation).

It's all there:

>> Be DOMINANT with Women: Know How to MASTER Them (In Everyday Life) to Make Them Fantasize About You

Stay solid,

About the Author

Expert in male-female relationships and passionate about evolutionary psychology, Jack Vitel has been helping for over 10 years men of all ages regain control of their sexual and love lives. He is known for his unique concept of solidity, which allows men to naturally attract the women they want by tapping into their inner masculine potential.